You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I don't deserve a penis
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
