the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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