i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize