just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
