i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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