Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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