It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
