so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
