I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
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did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
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But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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