i think my mom watched the whole time
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
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Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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