Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
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Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
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We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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