Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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