You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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