Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
