he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
