He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize