I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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