Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
