Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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