Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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