As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize