I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
