He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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