he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
worst night to have a conscience
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
