everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Randomize
