I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize