if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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