I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
