is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
