It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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