Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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