I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.