I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
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we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
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First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.