I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.