He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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