I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
