the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
