are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
