it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
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I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
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I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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