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can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
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