yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it