Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize