NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
