I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
