If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
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