She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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