you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
