I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
