i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
