I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
