WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
