And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
