You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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