Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize