Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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