He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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