if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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