I looked at my own cervix.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
