As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
