I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you had me at cake vodka
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
