You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize